TRUST

A conversation with a good friend today left me thinking about trust. Without trust there is no honest, and without honesty there is no trust. Without both honesty and trust there is no friendship. I am sure everyone knows this, but when it comes to the affairs of the heart, we blind ourselves, and give others more chances. But my simple comment is, if someone hurts you once, and its a genuine mistake, then forgiveness is a great thing, but if someone hurts you again, again, again, again .... there is simply one answer to that. STOP.

In the end "time" will be the greatest healer.

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship"

Ralph Waldo Emerson

one day at a time

... in the last few days it has been more evident to me that each day can mean the realisation of a dream come true, but equally it can destroy a dream. I had that experience. About 2 wks ago, I thought a dream was soon to be realised, and just with a few words within a matter of days it was taken away from me .... as simple as that. The wheel-of-fortune didnt even give me the time to enjoy the 'joy' though its has defintely left me with the feeling of sadness. I know that I would not really be writing this, if it was the other way round, or there would be more of a feeling of 'happiness' from the post. I am not sad, though, I guess the realisation is that nothing is certain, nothing at all, circumstances, situations, positions, etc, etc.

We are told to enjoy each day, its hard to do, when the mind is all over the place. How can I really remain in the 'present' with baggage on my shoulders, and plans having to be made to ensure tommorow is better.

Define better, I think. Not now. Not until I stop pressurising myself. I definetly am hard on myself, but then I know my 'capability.'

If ONLY.

Stay well

Pav ... x

well well

I was told to be more 'talkative' here, less about the movies, and more about my life, what i am doing.

I know, I should, and actually I do, I write in a diary. And this blog, i guess, its more to give people info about where I am what I am doing I guess. But then not everyone knows where I am, sometimes I will travel without telling someone where I am going, I know, not exactly safe, but then I dont put myself into harmful dangerous situations, ... so in that way, I am 'good' (lol)

... am talking/writing utter rubbish. I am currently in a 'building' waiting for 'someone' to finish talking so that we can go for some lunch! - or actually go and re-metre my car, as the cost is now on countdown.

.... i saw AM's post, and thought about the 'hate' and 'love' - words are meaningless lost in everyday converstation, and when one says "i hate that dress" or "i hate that" - i am sure its has different conontations to when someone says "i hate you" - the latter is more effective in creating an emotional response. We should (definitely) be more careful with our words, but still be aware of when the WORD is meant to have the stronger association, and I think subconciously we do. Even the word "love" (i believe) is over used, but I am sure when you mean it in the apporopriate sense (and this is usually to an individual) it has the emotional connection to it.... but saying "love" so many times too can have a killing effect.

... my take is obviously different to what AM was talking about, but when I went back to check his post 'respond 2' its says "must log in" - so right now, I will leave this be, and well, get back to AM's post later.

For now, adios amigos x

eurreeekaaaaaaa!

.... maybe, just maybe.

broken flowers

... i wanted to talk about Bill Murray's new movie "Broken Flowers" which i thought was very thought provoking and intelligently made.

I believe that I really enjoyed this movie, because I really enjoyed his previous movie "lost in translation" (which goes down as one of my all time favourite) and it seems like this movie is picking up where that one finished.

Murray plays "Don" who recieves a letter (anonymously) that he has a 19 year old son. There begins a journey to his past, to 5 woman he believes could have sent that letter, and to find out if he really does have a son.

The ending might be a surprise to some, but this is the way i like it. I wont spoil it for those whom want to go and see this movie.

I found that the movie highlights that people change, and that time changes people, choices change people, and circumstances. Admitedly, I would have like to have felt more human emotion from the character "Don," but then this is who he is. In a way 'Don' has always been searching for something, and will always be searching, and if he was like his neighbour "Winston" who seems to not have anything, but really has it all!

Boosted by an all-star starcast, its a different style of film making.

A must see!

Lies about Love

We are a liars, because

the truth of yesterday becomes a lie tomorrow,

whereas letters are fixed,

and we live by the letter of truth.

The love I feel for my friend, this year,

is different from the love I felt last year.

If it were not so, it would be a lie.

Yet we reiterate love! love! love!

as if it were a coin with a fixed value

instead of a flower that dies, and opens a different bud.

D.H.Lawrence

A message for my FRIEND(s)

I wanted to write something about "friendship" today, because for each and everyone of us, friendship is different, and it has a different meaning.

Our characters, of course, are created by our experiences, and also some of it is part of our nature, we were born with certain qualites, and that makes our defintion and therefore our individuality. People will always come and go in your life, and this is the same for friends. Hence we should value our time with them, as everything does not last forever.

Yet, even when time cause separation in location, true friendship withstands both time and distance. I wanted to say that I value the friends that are "true" friends in my life. To me there are closer then what they think.

I was touched today by 2 friends, for 2 entirely different reasons today. Most of you probaby know, and this is not something I am hiding, that I am going through some changes, but the thing that friendship brought into my life today was "laughter" and "presence" .... one friend bought me laughter, and i have not smiled and laughed that much in days, and the second friend, called me to say that i was on 'their' mind all day, and that 'they' wanted to help, and they gave me advice that was soooo unexpected, but its value is deeper than just words.

I am sure that other friends have done the same - meaning, have touched me in ways, and I simply wanted to say THANK YOU, and I guess, I have not said that I do value the fact that you call, you write, and simply 'stay in touch' because in a society where we can be consumed in everyday realities of study, job, work, family, relationships, one reality that will never have any pressure on you is friends (or they shouldnt :P) ......

I hope, that in ways friends will touch you as they touch me, and I value them more than words can every describe.

Pav :) x

I am still here :)

Hellooooooo

... its nice to see that some of you are concerned about my blogs :P... oh well, i mean are interested in them, thanks for the emails (well only 2!) that were asking what has happened to the silence on my site ... there has been no silence, just ive been busy, and away .... but generally also, nothing much to talk about! ...

... well, I lie ... there is A LOT to talk about, but then in what particular order that is what I am unsure about.

So Cardiff, .... Its way tooo cold now, i am wearing 2 jumpers, thats how cold I am feeling, but then i guess i am not recovering well from my illness. I should just stay in bed, and fully recover, .... i tend to feel 60% ok, and then thats it, i am up up and away :)

Plus i know i said, ill call a few of you back, from the missed, and also unanswered calls, i will, i promise, give me a day or two to get my minutes! - and oh yes, dont forget, do not answer the 0709 mobile numbers .. no no, i mean do not CALL BACK, its a premium line, that will charge you between 50p to 90p a minute. I had another missed call from that number again this morning! Typical!

I really dont have much more to say .... then again there is too much to say :P .... i am the biggest contridiction on this planet.

Whatever .... i hope everyone is well, enjoying life, and above everthing else, happy .... happiness is what it is all about.

Pav :) x