Hello again

Wow,

I forget that I even had this blog site! .... and it was a pleasure to rediscover it again today! ... what a journey that last few years has been.

Today I am making a promise to myself ... to my soul, to my identity to my universal being ... the transformation process began back in Jan 2010 (I felt it the day i bought the jasper crystal) ... yet I denied it ... and today I felt a complete hole within ... i felt the depth of emptyness, it engulfed me for 30 minutes ... i felt soooo low, and then I just thought to accept it ... i went to the bathroom .... in a way unable to breathe properly ... then i started to breathe ..... "let it be, i heard a voice say to me, let it be...." ..... then I looked in the mirror and saw something in my eyes ... a recognition ... an awareness ... to just be ... let this be ....

... so that is where I am at today ... in a sense defeated ... in a sense victourious .... sad .... yet happy ....

yes this is a contridiction ... and yet I can 'see' which one is the ego, and which one is not ....

... time to venture on .... time to allow the transformation to just happen .... fight all you want ego ... I know where my strength lyes ....

Testing for Renu

Hi,

Been a long time since I updated this. Just showing a friend how to use blogger.com

Hope all is well with everyone

p :) x

It is time now ... for B&B to get into gear ... I have just come back from a fab time in Barcelona, and it was a much needed break, .. break for the mind and the thinkings back home ... but as the BA flight landed in Gatwick my mind was already churning thoughts to 'what needs to be done.' 

I must admit I do feel a new sense of urgency, but with pace and commitment ... it will be about every day and every moment ... this is the only way to enjoy the present.

Happy New Year to you all xxx

Just wondering about the future ... though keeping an eye on the present ... looking back on the past ..... why at times does it feel so difficult?

Mumbai

INDIA, ... this is where i am writing from today, .. infact Mumbai ... or as i am told that most of the locals call it 'bombay' again, after the 7 bomb blasts last year!

In a way its strange being here, yet I dont feel like a 'stranger' ... its feels like part of me, and yet i don't necessarily feel at 'home' anywhere. Be it London or Mumbai! What is happening yaar! (friend!) .... anyways, ... its definetly a city of sooooo much energy and feelings. I've actually being in a different space in my mind also, where i am trying not to think soo much about things, but then i am being told that i am thinking about things! I am contridicatory in terms!

Its lovely been here it really is, and meeting people, whom i feel i have known for years, ...... i love this space and time, .. before going back to the realities of London and England.

:)

DULL - AS! (Dallas)

Hey All,

Its sunday morning in the midst of a beautiful day in Dallas, and my body clock is still f**ked up! I am waking up between 2-4am daily! and feeling tired around 6pm here daily!! (I am exactly 6 hours behind UK time) ... though spent yesterday shopping and a little site seeing.

I went to President JFK's assaisantion place, and into the building, sixth floor, where the snipper shot the president, it was kind of surreal being there. The road is even marked with an X to highlight the exact location of the shots... this was in downtown Dallas, and what a derelect place! I am not seeing many people in Dallas, and majority of visitors seem to be business related (like myself). I was told to visit uptown, but thats predomintately for the Bar's and Restaurants. We'll see. I have still to try a good steak! Maybe later this afternoon, as late lunch early evening meal :)

The people here are sooooooo friendly too, they like my 'british' accent. I find that the texan accent is like the welsh accent but with an american twang to it! Seriously its mad! ....

There is even a Krispy Kreme drive though! lol ... and the macdonalds building architecture are soooooo cool!

I went shopping crazy yesterday .... but u have to buy boots from the place they come from, right ;) .... prices are reasonable here, so went a little overboard ... no more.

Ok, well its sunday, and everything is mostly shut here .. so going to see where i can go! :)

Catch ya!

updates

Its still early days in London, and once I have finished my current contract only then can i really believe I am in London. Honestly apart from waking up in the morning, going on 2 tubes to work, and other train, vice versa, I have not really seen London (contract is in surrey).

I was thinking of going through city centre yesterday as I was on my way back to waterloo, but then tiredness kicked in (takes me 1.5 hrs one way!) so, even though ill be sad to leave this current contract (met some really nice people!) I will not miss the waking up at 5.45am! though i woke up before my alarm this morning at 5.40am! What is going on?!?

I finish on Tuesday 15th, and then after a few days rest start my next place on 21st August, and I am looking forward to that, .. as i am sure there is much to learn there :), and with it being more central, I can really wake up at 8 with ease! (I dont start till 10! but finish, obviously slightly later).

One thing is for sure, I am getting really tired of trains. The other day I was sitting and physically felt sick - it was just the movement, and then i realised that Ive been on that train on and off for what seemed like eternity! I do prefer travelling by car :) ... saying that I have a car journey 2moro, and then a few train journeys :) ..... one thing is good though .. i can now read properly on the train and tube. Where as before I would get a headache, I can bare it now.

With this I am going to go and jump on another train .. then tube ... then train/or/tube depending what arrives first, and in approximately 1.5 or 2 hrs, i ll be home! .... am up at 5am 2moro again, this time for a 3 hour drive! ... someone should sponsor me! I can be a travellling advertising board!!

Out! :P